It’s been a little while since I’ve updated you on the goings-on at the good ol’ entertainment capital of L.A. But October is upon us, and that means the end of the tram… and the beginning of the TERROR TRAM! Will Hyler was kind enough to document my spooktacular tour on the night of October 6th:
The next weekend, we were called in for a meeting, where we were told that the ratings for the Halloween tour were through the roof!!. But also some executives took the tour and they got offended and we can’t improvise any more. But seriously, you guys are great! Keep it up!
So the public loves it, but several rich dipshits get offended because we make fun of Whoopi Goldberg and Al Roker (how dare we!), so no fun for anyone. But we are allowed to tell a high-larious anecdote involving a famous quote by moving picture star Lon Chaney. Because that’s just what busloads of drunk Latino dudes want to hear. Ohhh, Universal, will you ever learn?
“Comedienne Whoopi Goldberg has announced she is retiring from acting to concentrate on her broadcasting career. The Oscar-winning star insists there’s “no room” for her in Hollywood anymore - because there are younger, more glamorous actresses taking all the jobs. Goldberg claims she has no choice but to retire from movies - because she never gets sent scripts anymore. She tells talk show host Larry King, “You know, there’s no room for the very talented Whoopi. There’s no room right now in the marketplace of cinema.”
What a world we live in, where there’s no room for the indeed very talented Whoopi. First, we’ve got this idiot criminal in the Oval Office (Buck Fush! Am I right?!?), now no one is bothering to send national treasure Whoopi Goldberg any scripts? Well, Whoopi, there’s always room for you in my movies. How would you feel about starring in We Bust Ghosts 2?
I will be happy to take you under my wing, Whoopi. Then I will delicately remove many dreadlock hairs from my wing, and be somewhat grossed out, but also glad that you were under there. Why? Because you’re a star. Don’t ever forget that, pal.
