As many of you know, I’m a tour guide at Universal Studios (where you can ride the movies). Occasionally I check Youtube for clips of me doing the tour, and I recently found a couple. This will give you a small taste of the hilarity I bring to this Los Angeles institution, and and even bigger taste of what I get to sit through 3 times a day.

“Fast and the Furious: Extreme Closeup”:

This is a recent addition to the tour, and what an addition it is! My enthusiasm is clear from the hilarious exhortation “Oh snap!” as the cars begin to dance.

“Flash Flood”

I love the geniune concern from the lady filming. “Oh… god”. This is actually one of the hardest parts of the tour, because I’m not sure what to do in the time it takes for the flood to start. Because special guest star Al Roker gives you a “flash flood warning”, then for what feels like 3 minutes, I feign disbelief at the possibility of a flash flood actually occuring. “I remain skeptical of Al’s forecast. I see no reason to believe that here, at this point in time, at this time of day, a flash flood will…”

“Jaws”

This one gave me a good idea of what it’s actually like to back there listening to me, yelling like a jackass. The shark making the things explode seems like something of a leap in judgement to me. Sometimes, I describe it on the tour as a “crazy, Rube Goldberg-esque series of events”. I believe one person has ever smiled at that.

“Dinosaur Attack!”

Here, I make oh so clever jokes as the girl filming ignores me. “It’s all on meeeeeeeee!!!!!!”